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I went on vacation & went through a lot during our breaks. Even though I watched what I ate I ended up losing & gaining 21 pounds & hated myself 4 it! I am sorry ya'll! One thing I found out through all of this is I am really healing! Instead of me continuing 2 gain weight & beating myself up 2 much I got back on track! I am sorry 2 let ya'll down, but I need ya'll 2 know my truth. I am so back on track & Dr. Jane said, "Ruby this is part of recovery. We fall, we fail, but recovery is when U can get back on track!" YAY!!! Ya'll just because I shoot a show pls remember I am shooting my truth! I WILL NEVER LIE 2 ANY OF U! My truth is I am battling the biggest beast in my life. I got right back in the ring! I am ready 2 finish this once & for all! I am mad at this beast! HE will not win! We are filming right now & I can't give away 2 much. :O(I can tell U we have 2 take baby steps & start over even if we mess up! I learned when I vacation & go out 2 eat 2 always add 300 calories 2 every 1 of my meals. When U R on 1200 to 1500 a day calorie intake & vacationing that is tough. Think about it that is already 900 calories X out! Lordy! I did find out we must workout every time we vacation or we R home. If we work out we will not gain weight. Make sure UR moving daily for 45 mins 2 an hr. If we do we will maintain our weight or lose more. It can be something WE love, love, love 2 do. Dancing, riding a bike, walking, tennis, ping pone, etc... we must keep moving! We unfortunately never get a vacation this is our addiction & we must stay on top or it. Pls learn by my mistake. The great news is I am doing great again & it has made me mad enough 2 beat this. WE always have 2 be aware!! This is a daily fight 4 me& there R times I feel like I WILL NEVER BEAT THIS! Life is so hard, economy is tough. We R fighting 2 survive this thing call LIFE! One day we wake up not from sleep, but from a place so deep you can't describe where you've been, all you know you've awaken to find U R being controlled by a substance, person, ghost from UR past, etc.. & there R 2 things WE will end up doing, WE will either numb ourselves 2 avoid our situation or we will fight & overcome. One thing we all must remember, numbing & avoiding is 4 a moment & in that 1 moment we can crumble & die mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
I read many of ur emails/ letters. There is severe pain in this world. Hurt so deep U can't breathe because U feel no one cares, loves, values or appreciates U. Many have lost someone fr natural death, freak accidents, unexpectedly. WE have lost a parent, sibling, husband, wife, child, pet, friend, UR soul mate, & the pain is so deep that it cuts us like a knife! The only thing WE want 2 do is not feel, because if WE let OURSELVES feel this pain 1 second WE may lose OUR mind. Some ofUS have lost OUR jobs, homes & do not know where OUR next meal will come from. Young people R fighting 2 be accepted,2 be loved, 4 someone to hear OUR secret cry 4 love. The strange thing is I find we all have something/ someone weR fighting. We all fight a beast the wealthy, the unwealthy, healthy, the unhealthy, child, teenager, adults, boy, girl, man, woman. The worse thing through all of this WE do not know who 2 trust, who will we open up 2 that will not abandon us, who can save us fr ourselves.
Lets remember the most important thing is to stop judging one another & hating each other because we look different, come from different backgrounds, etc...One thing God has taught me through His love is that we all are human beings, no one is better than this or that person. We all were born 4 a purpose & have a God given destiny. Every 1 of ya'll know what I am talking about. It is that place so deep in the heart that burns & burns, & when U find urself doing the very thing U were born2 do there is a peace that comes all over U & WE R the happiest WE'VE ever been. I am crawling right now, & there are times I want 2 never feel anything. I want 2 disassociate fr people & life. That is the old Ruby fightingw/ the new Ruby. I guess I am growing up!! But I will not STOP, I will not GIVE UP! I will move, because not moving means I am frozen by fear. I will not let fear stop me; not fear of the past, present or future. I will fight every single day & some days I will crawl like a baby, some days I will take baby steps, other days I will take giant leaps! Guess what, I will keep going because as long as I crawl, step, leap I will get to the finish line. 2 my God given destiny!
I am finding out childhood is the core of who we R. We must face it & deal w/ it. Once we do, it will no longer chain us in the past w/ hurt, fear, hate or guilt. All this does is keep us in bondage. It is time to see hope, love and peace! This will lead us to light, and the light will be the path to the other side: our freedom, our destiny!
I promise you: The biggest thing I have learned on my journey is that there are more great people out there than bad! I am flabbergasted by the humanity y'all have shown to me and to each other. YOU, MY FRIENDS, ARE THE MIRACLE IN ALL OF THIS!
1. DO NOT wait until tomorrow, because tomorrow will NEVER come—or it may come 10 years later. Start this very second. Start breaking your addiction right now, start your dream right now! If you mess up, start over again right then and your mistake will be erased. If you stay in your mistake, beat yourself up and continue, it will turn into repercussions that could last a lifetime. Write down everything you drink and eat in a notebook or journal.
2. I do have bad dayswhen the addiction tries to take me over again, again and again. I tell myself that one moment of pleasure is not worth the aftereffects. That one moment of feeling good is a lie from the pit of helicopter. That one moment of pleasure will put me in bondage! The biggest thing WE must do is reach out for help...make a call, text, email someone, call an 800 number. I have a new therapist,Dr. Jane Weilenman, who is helping me cross over. You have to talk and find out why you want that food, drug, person, alcohol that is KILLING YOU, YOUR FAMILY and YOUR RELATIONSHIPS! MAKE THE CALL! The hardest part of this journey for me is reaching out and doing this, but because I am, it is saving me! YAY!
3. Go to the doctor and find out how your health is, go get blood work, X-rays, etc. Stop avoiding—please do this! If my mother hadn't bugged me to death to go to the doctor, I would be dead by now. I had no idea I had diabetes, a liver with fatty tissue, cholesterol issues...I was dying because of diabetes. It is the silent killer! Please go get and get a checkup. Make the appointment today. If you can't afford it, there are free clinics out there that will help you!
4. My diet was Ourlife Fresh in the beginning and sometimes I still eat a meal plan it is not processed foods; it was created around diabetes, and I promise you it changed my palate! It taught me that there was a variety of healthy food out there I had no idea about. It taught me portion sizes. I went cold turkey on this for three to six months, and I give you my word: It was harder than helicopter at first, but now I love and crave healthy food! I know money is an issue for a lot of US!TRUST ME I KNOW!!! If you do not do something about your health now it will cost you more in Doctor bills, medications, hospital, remember diabetes is the silent killer!
I need to tell everyone this is not a competition every program that is trying to help people lose weight should be about the good of the people with this addiction and I believe they are. You have to do what is best for YOU and affordable for YOU! No matter if you do
your own diet, etc... you will NEVER EVER beat this completely until you find out WHY YOU ARE EATING! Find out what you are feeding mentally, emotionally, spiritually!!! If it was all about what we were feeding physically we wouldn't be here. The first thing a child can get their hands on to medicate is food!!!So please go here: click here for someone to help you,
I believe doing something healthy for 3 to 6 months will break and change your addiction.
5. We have to exercise: Walk, ride a bike, work out with a trainer, work out with your friends, dance, box! Start out easy. You could try 15-20 minutes more than you do now, and work up to 4-5 times a day. (Definitely talk to your doctor before you start to work out!!!)Please email my trainers Drew and Shazi @ firstname.lastname@example.org
on their Web site; they are more than happy to give you a workout for your weight and condition. They will help you get started.
I KNOW I TELL Y'ALL THIS A LOT, BUT IT IS SO IMPORTANT:
Smile and say hi to a stranger, open the door for someone, think of the special people in your life who give their all to you daily! Say hi to a homeless person and watch out for who is lonely. There are people everywhere who do not have a roof over their head, people who are truly starving to death. Invite them over or just have coffee with them. There are so many lonely people who have no one to hug them or to say I love you! There are many without jobs. There are many who do not have an air condition in this heat wave or heater on a cold night!There are many out there dying from a disease or an addiction, and sometimes all they need is a hello or someone to talk to for just five minutes. Give someone a dollar, a hug, a big smile; make someone laugh; just say hello and give a helping hand, or grab their hand a say a prayer for them. It will change their lives more than you will ever know. You will help them believe they are special, because they truly are! You will make them believe in themselves and humanity. Remember, some of these people can be sitting right under our noses. Open your eyes and be aware! One day this could be us. Miracles happen every single day: A child is healed from cancer, someone gets a new and better job, someone is beating disease and addiction. Miracles, miracles, miracles!
The credit belongs to those who are actually in the arena, who strive valiantly; who know the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spend themselves in a worthy cause; who at the best, know the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if they fail, fail while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.-- Theodore Roosevelt
I would never want someone to judge and condemn me. Would you? We have no idea what another person is going through or what brought them to their today; we have never traveled down their road. People would look at me and call me a gluttoner. When the truth is, I am not. We are all unique human beings who grew up with parents, without parents, single parents, siblings, teachers, etc. Every one of these people put their mark on us. Good or bad! Now it's time to put ...Ruby's Blog on FAITH
Ya'll, please take your first step right now! Even if your first step is 100 times a day. Because guess what one day your first step will lead you to your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc... and you will finally cross over your bridge.